hiHi...this weekend is a rather tiring and bad weekends...Sat I had a carnival in SP which is from 8am to 6pm...I didn't manage to meet Davin at all...On Sunday, I went to celebrate Jesaline's birthday with all my sec sch frens and only met Davin for less than 5mins at the mrt station where he's going home from AMK and I'm going home...Monday I was sick...very sick... den met Davin and go home after that...didn't spend much time with him...Tuesday I end sch later den him...he went jamming and we didn't meet...we seldom msg each other and he takes very long to reply me...haiz...he's busy these days with his things n I'm finding my own things to be busy with...we quarrelled on Sat that's y we wanted a seperation...is this the end? When is it the end? I dunno...but his birthday is round the corner n I dunno wat relationship are we then...is it still bgr or juz frenz...anyway, I'll live happily and get on with my life......signing off...
wEnDy kiss Davin at 12:49 PM

yeah!...finally finished all the tests this week le...phew...hahaha...next week no test but this Sat gotta do CIP in sch...it's a carnival...interested to come?heez...after blogging ytd, den I went to Sabrina's blog to take a look...I really dunno wat to say...I was wondering is our frenship so fragile?Is our friendship really over?sometimes, I'm like thinking y is it tat all my frens r against my lover?Is he so bad?No one actually understand how we both felt... it's like...well...he mayb unreasonable, controlling petty and stuff...but I think he's fine to me...it's all bout compromising in relationship...so y care who gives in more or who does not give in?u know, always when my frens disagrees with my relationship,I'll tell him...ever think of how he felt...once, he actually shouted at me and asked,"Y is it that all ur frens are against me? Am I that bad?Wat's wrong with me?"...Sabrina has a very good bf, I think she shld appreciate more and not bully him always...I dun think Davin is worse den him...love can't be compared...am I wrong?Is Davin so bad?I'm not those super pretty sort, so I dun think I'm much compettible to him...at the earlier stage of our relationship, there was a fren of his actually said that he has bad taste n all that...compared me to her ex...but...wat did he do?He stood up and told his frens, "it is not the outer beauty that attacts me, it's her inner beauty which made him fell in love with her. Pls do not insult my gf..."after that, he didn't talk to that guy anymore lehz...wah...so sentimental rite...I broke down in tears when I heard that... C...how much does he love me?How can I ever say he does not love me...Love me means muz give me freedom? In his dictionary of love, he wants his lover to be with him forever...he does not want to have another failed relationship... I may not share alot of him in my blog...and all that ppl c is his controlling...he controls me becuz he knows that I'm someone who can't control myself n will be tempted to play rather than studying...he wants to get distinctions in all his subject and expect me to do the same...like a dad, he will scold me when I starred blankly at him when I'm studying or fall aslp when reading an acticle...this is his way of love...however, there r time that we play, go shopping and complete of puzzle...the puzzle in his house is collecting dust as lazy me do not wanna spend time on it...haha...we normally will go arcade to play bomberman...haha...it's a very old game le...but I enjoyed playing...he do not like it, but becuz I wanna play, he pei me...Am I happier now? Yes and no...cuz my mood is completely dependant on him...if he's happy, I'll be happy.if he's sad, I'll be sad...so by all means, I'll try my very best to make him happy...I may look happier when I'm single...it's quite true...but after u r in a relationship, u will grow...learn to accept a person and love him for who he is...He does not like me to hang around with some of my frens, that is becuz I'm very easily influent...I'd listen to wat ppl says and have no mind of my own...he's afraid that my frens will say things bad bout him and make him lose me...many times he convinced himself and allows me to go out with whoever I wan,but in the end I would have to quarrel with him... cuz somehow I'm influenced by ppl's opinion... others may have bf who meet up with their gf once a week, some may not quarrel over some tiny matter, some may give lots of freedom...... my bf, he take our relationship seriously...he makes me his one n only wife-to-be...he want to spend all his time with me, wans me to understand how he feels and restrict me to some ppl as he wan me to be all his...all these are juz his way of showing his love and loving me...this is my 1st love...hopefully the last too...he will always plan for the future...once, we saw a pair of old couple...the lady was pushing the man in his wheelchair...he asked me...next time will I push him around if he is disabled...?I of cuz not those romantic type...I said...of cuz not lah...I'll be next to u pushing myself around also...he says, maybe it'll be him pushing me around...I too weak liao...this is his way of love...n I'm happy with who I am...I really hope all my frens will agree with my way of thinking and accept my relationship...friendship can be forever when understanding is in it...so pls understand that I can't change Davin n I wun wan him to change...I can't have the amt of freedom I used to have and wun be able to go everywhere I wan...so dun be disappointed...I wun be able to give up my frens for him n I wun give up him for frens too...so dun ask me to choose...I love all my frens...it's not impossible to ask me out...but only that I need the consent of my bf...I still c Sabrina as my best fren...or else that Sun I wun even lied n made Davin so fed up and got us almost broke off with each other...I'll try my very best whenever I can to make it possible to meet up...everytime I'll try...Sabrina, we r still best frens, rite?type too much le...signing off....
wEnDy kiss Davin at 12:34 AM

HaHa...So LoNg eVEr sINcE I uPdAtEd...HeeZ....iT hAs bEeN gReAt tHeSe dAys... it'S ChinEsE New yeAR aNd V.dAy...HEeZ...CNY was a VEry buSy oNE...bUt oSo eNjoYabLe...hEeZ...thE sAd thINg iS tAt I cAn't c DavIN ovEr tHE feW dAys...hEeZ...miSs hIm loTs...HeeZ...wE dIdn'T rEalLY celEbrATe V dAy thIS yeAr...aS I hAve a tEsT On tueSdAy...dEn wE r sAvIng foR a O2 XDA mINi...I pRoMIsEd tO sPonSeR hIm PArT of It..sO we R bOTh sAviNg lIKe mAd NOw...hOpEfULly we"ll meEt thE tArgEt bY hIS biRtHDaY...hAhAhA...tHIs CNY diDn'T gO SabRinA'S hOuSe...HAiZ...dEn I thinK shE's sTill aNGry wiTH me fOR nOt pei-ing hEr tO orchArd lASt moNdaY...BUt I thinK hEr vEry vEry gOOd bf wIll pEi hEr dE bA...So SabRinA sHLdn't bE vEry aNGry bA...HEeZ...DaVin juZ bOughT a paIR oF OaklEy sPEcs lEhZ...iT's So eXpENSIVe lOh..bUT it'S tItAnIUM onE...sO wun RuSt...lIdaT hiS sKiN wUn be aFfEcTed...hEeZ...tML haVe a teSt...heEz...sTudy uNTil vEry tirEd le...bUt sTill wAitIng DaviN now lOh...HeeZ...kk... thaT's All...
wEnDy kiss Davin at 5:22 PM

LAsT SundAy, I wEnT ouT wITh ShI Hui...oN sAt, bEcUZ of wAnTinG tO Go oUt eArlieR wiTh SH, I tOok sOMe tImE ouT to dO my iRonIng oF cLoThEs... wAs sUppOSe to MeET DaVin dE... bUT iRon tiLL bOUT 3 plUS...I adMIt iT wAs mY mIstAKe...hAiZ...dEn I hAd a vEry tEnSe qUarReL wIth DaVin oN SuNdAy NitE...I wAntEd a brEAkup aT 1sT...n I'm Very suRe hE wAntEd it TOo...bUt it iS a rElaTioNsHIp wHIcH wE hAd mEntAin fOR 7 mThs...hOW wOUlD I lEt IT gO?hAiZ... dEn hE ASkEd Me iF I wAntEd IT...I sAid nO...sO hE cAmE ouT WiTh thIS agReeMenT tAt I cAN'T Go OuT wITh mY fReNs WhEn I cAN't fINisH mY hOuSewORk oN tIMe...anD mUz pUt eFfORt tO cOme oUt on tiME fOR dAtinG...n noT aLwAys lEt HIm wAIt...He hAd bEeN wAitiNG fOR mE liKE So LOng lE... hAIz...FeeL sO BaD...DeN i mONdAY tAT daY WeNt To ScH LaTe...Haiz...i CriEd TilL My Eyes wENt SwOllEN LeHz...HaIz...But AfteR TaT AGrEement, ShI hUi Is REaLLy AnGRy WItH me...Cuz sHe hAs a haiRdrEsSing apPOINtmEnt thIS SuNDay...bUT no onE Is pEi-iNg hEr...hAIZ...fORgEt iT...I gOTTa gO...hEeZ...

wEnDy kiss Davin at 12:02 PM